The Wolf's Lair

The Wolf grew up on the streets of Williamsburg. He has seen (and helped create) the change from being a small part of North Brooklyn only the locals knew to being the greatest and most famous neighborhood in the world. In the olden times when he was but a Young Wolf, he and his father would take down criminals on the weekend in order to protect the people who live there. At that time, the locals called him "Asgaya-Dihi" which roughly translates to "Mankiller" in Cherokee, though he and his father chose to drag the criminals to the local jailhouse instead.

Once the neighborhood was safe, he left Williamsburg in order to pursue his path: He gained a JD at the University of Maryland in Baltimore, a MD at the University of Georgia in Athens, a masters in Architecture from the University of California, Berkeley, a PHD in Commercial Development in Shanghai, and enlightenment from the Dalai Lama himself in Tibet. Deciding that he was now ready for his true calling, he returned home to Williamsburg and began his real estate career. You can find him strolling the local bars and restaurants, all of which have a table ready for him at a moment's notice, playing soccer at Bushwick Inlet or Mccarren Park, taking a break to go fishing off the 5th street pier where the locals know him well and ask for advice ("I've heard of a man catching a bigger fish than that but I've never seen it; actually, I've never even heard of it"), or teaching the youth chess at the local schools. You can find a list of his favorite restaurants and hangouts below. For questions or recommendations, email his servant at or call/text 706-255-5657.

Favorite Dens

Tabare at 221 S. 1st. Owner is a regular soccer player at BIP and cooks the best Uruguayan food in town. Try the Churrasco—a skirt steak with chimichurri and duck fat potatoes. It saved The Wolf’s 14th cub from apathy.

Night of Joy at 667 Lorimer Street. Tasty and cheap cocktails with large wine pours in a chill sort of old school meets hipster historic atmosphere and an awesome rooftop. Go there for happy hour and sit in a dark corner while watching the humans dance like animals.

Oasis at 161 N. 7th Street. Quick and easy stop. The Falafel and salads are good but you can’t get better beef/lamb shawarma outside of the Middle East.

Radagast at 113 N. 3rd Street. Big German biergarten with enormous beers and tasty pretzels. The Wolf plays jazz here on Tuesday nights.

L’Industrie Pizzeria at 254 S. 2nd Street. Best slice in NYC. No joke. The Wolf took a chosen few on a bike-pizza-food tour and blind taste-tested all the famous place. L’Industrie won hands down. Nobody believed it until people read this website…and now it was voted “Best Pizza of New York” in 2017. Get in before it gets too crowded.

Jr & Son at 575 Lorimer Street. The Wolf has been banned and welcomed back by Jr and/or Son on eight different occasions and counting. It’s nearly 800 years old and hasn’t changed a bit. You better have fangs as a newbie as these are the real Brooklyners who rarely let anyone in. Now that I think about it, don’t mention that you read about the best bar in NYC here...